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A Typical Summer Morning by ~Hentekorin-Kaiki:iconHentekorin-Kaiki:



A Revsion of
Typical Summer Morning
By Hentekorin-Kaiki. But you probably guessed that

I awake at 6:53 to do some paper work in dire need of completion. I sit on my bed staring at the clock. I will myself to stand up and get my day started.

I awake and it is 7:15. I shrug. It's not like I had anything to do today.

I awake and notice that it's 7:27. I ponder briefly why I have awoken before... slipping back... in... to...

At 7:35 I bolt out of bed, knowing exactly why I woke up just now and at 7:27. My annoying alarm clock is blaring. I persuade it to shut up using my fist. Having hurt my hand on the dresser that my alarm clock rests on, I swear. Growling, I gently press the snooze button.

I remember something rather important as I irritably open my eyes at 7:42. The snooze button only silences the alarm for but a few minutes. I make sure to turn the alarm off this time.

At 7:56 I awake wondering if I am on Candid Alarm. My clock has two alarms on it. So, if you only turn off the first alarm, the second will still go off. I regret having bought the shatter resistant kind. Well, I suppose now is a good time to start the day. I pull my warm, silky comforter across the bed, smoothing it out. I place my nice, soft pillow back onto the bed.

I'm awoken once more at 10:03. Heh, heh, oops. The smell of hash browns lingering from the kitchen and the emptiness of my stomach encourages me to get up. The licking tongue of my dog at the peanut on my toes tickles me. The tugging hands at my blanket and the yelling of my mother forces me.
©2008-2009 ~Hentekorin-Kaiki
:iconhentekorin-kaiki:

Author's Comments

This is a revision of my story Typical Sumer Morning. Personally, I think this at least three times better.
Since I just rewrote this it's a better gauge of my current skills than my other two stories. So any advice or constructive criticism would be very welcome.

An example of constructive criticism:
"The sentence saying, 'blah, blah, blah,' kind of interrupts the flow. Maybe in stead of that you should have, 'blabbity, blah, blah.'"
Something along those lines. Except, you know, if you actually use the words blah, blah, blah it probably won't help me much.

An example of unconstructice criticism:
"Lyk omg thos toetalli sicks. I cuold rite a wey beetar stery. rolfcopter! Furse cometent!"
I don't know about you, but I would be laughing my lungs out if I actually got a comment like that. Especially if it wasn't the, "furse cometent." I guarantee you, I wouldn't be able to find a bee tar laugh.

Comments


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:iconhentekorin-kaiki:
First comment!@ Yayz!

--
Hey, do want to know how to keep an idiot in suspense? Click here and find out [link]
:iconhentekorin-kaiki:
Gasp?! Did I really get first comment? Yay! I don't think that's ever happened before! WOOOO!! Go me! Yeah! I did it! Boom chaka laka laka! I'm gonna shove it, and love it, and dance around above it. :iconturkplz: Sweet! There's a plz account for Turk! I didn't know that before just now!

--
Hey, do want to know how to keep an idiot in suspense? Click here and find out [link]
:iconwriters-in-progress:
Lyk omg thos toetalli sicks. I cuold rite a wey beetar stery. rolfcopter! Furse cometent

*snickers* Actually, I left a little comment at the club.

-:heart::michelay:

--
To become a skillful writer is our goal!
:iconhentekorin-kaiki:
Yay! :w00t:

--
Hey, do want to know how to keep an idiot in suspense? Click here and find out [link]

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September 13, 2008
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